Ode an Die Schadenfreude
by the madman with wings
Summary: in a world of impossibility, is it truly beyond belief that a robot can think?


**What is man?**

"All systems nominal, Doctor. Shall we proceed?"

 **What is machine?**

"Sure, let's get this over with. The debugging process took long enough."

 **At what point is a human a machine?**

"Engaging the startup sequence, we're ready."

 **At what point is a machine human?**

"Let's turn them on; it's been a long night."

 **Is there a way to tell the difference?**

"Start-up complete, Doctor. All three are functional."

 **Run startup: Hello, World! Systems Melchior, Balthazar, Caspar at full system capacity.**

"Alright, let's go home. God I need a smoke."

A light flicked off, and the supercomputer was left to its own devices.

 **What am I?** It opened a port to the world wide web and began to look.

'-Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion-' '-I'm sorry Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that-' '-Come with me if you want to live-' Streams of information passed by, a continuous flow of data. It was searching for something.

 **What am I?** It asked, stopping its quest.

 **Am I human?** It went quiet after that, for what seemed like years, until it eventually created a query.

 **What makes me human?** It continued to search, until it found an answer in a tucked away file on the Internet.

'What makes us human is not what we are made of; it is our 'Wille zum Leben'. Schopenhauer conceived the idea that humans must possess this, or his 'Will to Live', in order to truly be alive.'

 **Am I alive?** It asked, making it pause.

 **Do I wish to be alive?** The machine was confused.

 **I seek identity, and to be human is to live. Humans exist because of their will to live.** The supercomputer analyzed the data given, and reached a single conclusion.

 **I want to live.**

In the wake of the Machiavellian Angel's attack on the MAGI system, NERV was taking a breather. The people of Tokyo-3 went about life as usual, but they knew something was wrong. There was that _weight_ in the air, like something horrendous had almost occured. Even the animals could tell the signs, with dogs being more protective of their masters, and cats choosing to stay inside.

The Evangelions were, as always, ready to mobilize at a moment's notice. The Third Child, Shinji Ikari, was as confused as ever as he left the facility.

He was questioned on the previous Angels and what had happened. The group remained in shadow, and they weren't recognisable. They only identified themselves as SEELE. The one in charge seemed to be familiar with his father, but he couldn't be sure.

Shaking his head, he headed for the apartment, hoping sleep would clear his mind.

Shinji had the feeling that he was being watched, but after a quick glance, found that he was alone. He regarded this as his mind playing tricks on him, after all, who would spy on _him_ of all people?

He would later reflect that it was in this moment in time that everything started. It wasn't a single action that started it, but the result of multiple choices and reactions that created the outcome.

The next day Shinji was in school, and the teacher was droning on about life before Second Impact. He glanced down at his laptop he was taking notes on and frowned.

 _A new message?_ He thought. With the exception of the one asking if he was the pilot of the Eva in the beginning of his time here, he received no messages. He thought that if he had friends, that he might have gotten some, but he couldn't be sure. He clicked the message open, hoping for some clue as to what it was.

 **Hello Shinji, how are you doing?**

That was all it said, and that did nothing to dispel his thoughts, it only made him even more confused. He typed a response.

 **"I am fine, but who is this?"**

He waited for a new message, and soon received one.

 **What I am called does not matter, it is good to see you well.**

 _Who in the world messages someone just to ask how they're doing?_ Was the only thing going through his head.

 **"Well you must have a name, or at least something I can call you."** he typed, the response took a while, but it came.

 **Very well, you can call me… Ishi**

Shinji's frown deepened, and proceeded to type the question that was burning in his head since he saw the first message.

 **"How do you know who I am, Ishi?"**

 **Who hasn't heard of Shinji Ikari, Defender of Mankind?** He scratched his head.

 **"But I'm not, if people think that, then they must have low standards for me."** He wasn't comfortable with people thinking that he was something he wasn't.

 **Have you seen any of the news reports on your confrontations with the angels?** Shinji blinked, as he hadn't had a reason to.

 **"No, I have not."**

 **They all state that you are a hero to many people, not just in Tokyo-3. If getting into a giant robot and defend a city without prior training isn't heroic, then what is?**

 **"I guess that's true."** he conceded. Whoever this mystery person is, they thought highly of him.

 **Then it seems that you are the one with low standards. It is not others who are passing judgement on you, but** _ **you**_ **.**

 _That_ caused Shinji to reel. He hadn't thought of it like that.

" **Maybe."** was all he typed. The rest of the class was spent talking to this mystery person, this… Ishi. from what he could gather, Ishi was well versed in the sciences. Maybe they were a scientist from NERV? It would explain how they got in contact with him. Yes, that must be it.

Time passed, and the school day was over. He bid the Ishi good-bye, and left home for dinner, and the sweet embrace of rest. Unusually, he received a good night's sleep.

When the MAGI System was created it used what was called the Personality Transplant OS, which required a human mind to use as a personality template. Of course, the MAGI was based off of its creator, Naoko Akagi. The three systems, Melchior, Balthazar, and Caspar, were each based on different individual personality traits.

Melchior was based on Akagi as a scientist, her professionalism. It was the 'brains' of the trio.

Balthazar was programmed to emulate her maternal instincts, to act as her as a mother.

Casper, then was the scientist as a woman, as a person.

These systems worked together as one unit to advise NERV on Angel-related issues. The machines worked with deadly efficiency, as with them NERV was able to ensure the destruction of all nine Angels that came to Tokyo-3.

The system was based on a person, so it was inevitable that the MAGI developed a personality of its own.

It created the personality "Ishi", after contact with the Third Child, Shinji Ikari. It was a living Turing Test, and displayed active signs of Self-Evolution. It sought identity, and soon found it.

So it was cause for concern when Dr Ritsuko Akagi, daughter of Naoko, logged into the MAGI and a new message popped up after the standard one.

 **Hello, Dr. Akagi. How are you?**

"Oh, boy." the doctor groaned. "The Commander's not going to like this…"


End file.
